Change Begins With Baby Steps

by suemiley on April 15, 2012

This post is contributed by Ryan Schuette, a soon-to-be counselor.  I love how he shares his own personal experience in the difficulty we all have in making change in our lives.

____________________________________________________

 

I have been struggling to start this blog for the past twenty minutes.

Although, really it’s been more like two weeks…

Often, one of the first skills I teach my clients with anxiety or panic disorders is deep breathing techniques.  It’s a very simple, effective way of limiting the physiological effects of anxiety; yet not surprisingly, even after I’ve explained the rationale behind the technique the client often looks at me as if to say, “Is this what I’m paying you guys for?”

These same skeptical clients usually return to the second session often experiencing the same level of anxiety; yet admittedly have not even tried the simple breathing exercises already prescribed.

Resistance to Change 

It’s a Catch 22 of sorts, the client expects the therapist to give them a magic bullet technique or ancient secret that will alleviate their problems, but at the same time they resist taking the smallest of steps towards their goals.

Similarly, writing a blog post was a homework assignment given to me by my own career development counselor Sue, over three weeks ago.  It should seem so simple, yet I have been dragging my feet this entire time.

Why is that?

The Status Quo Seems Safer 

Why do we fight against the same things we say we want most?

I think it’s because change requires action, and change, even for the better, can often be scary.  The moment we pick up our foot to take that first step towards positive action the questions come flooding in.  Will this really work?  Will I ever feel better? What will happen if I fail?  What will happen if I succeed?  Is change even possible?

Sometimes, I think the questions that come up when we decide to take action can make change seem as scary as remaining stuck.

Reducing the Anxiety  

Besides countering the physiological effects of anxiety, one of the reasons most therapists begin with deep breathing techniques with anxious clients is not only because it is a simple, yet effective first step; but it is also a gauge for the therapist to see if the client is ready to take even the smallest of steps towards their goals.

Often, when we try to create positive change in our lives, we are met by a lot of inner-resistance, even if we logically know that change is in our own best interest.

So, as I complete this blog post as the first step in developing a web presence for my future counseling practice, I must remind myself that a journey begins with a single step, and big change really begins with the smallest of steps.

One Step at a Time

If you focus on putting one foot in front of the other instead of completing the journey, one day you might just look up and see you are well on your way down the path towards your goals.

So this blog post is another step on the path for me, and I’m already brainstorming ideas for my next post…my next step.  Everyone has baby steps they have been putting off for one reason or another, what’s something you could today to take a small step towards big, positive change?

_____________________________________________________________

Ryan SchuetteRyan Schuette is currently in his internship as he finishes the Masters program at LSU in Community Counseling.  Ryan enjoys working with individuals and groups who need help battling anxiety and depression.  He will be seeking licensure as a Licensed Professional Counselor upon graduation.

 

{ 1 comment }

When Ink Hits Paper: Giving It To God

by suemiley on March 24, 2012

when ink hits paperSo I am writing in my journal this morning. Well actually I was writing to God. That is what I do. And actually, I was writing to God about how I haven’t written to him as often lately as I used to.

Well let me start from the beginning. I had a new client yesterday who obviously was in a difficult place. I was talking about moving closer to God, because as you may have read in a previous post What To Do When You Don’t Know What to Do, is I always feel I just need to move closer to God.

I am telling the client about this. That God loves him and that He wants to help us carry our burdens. You know, all of the standard God talk. And he was nodding his head, but I could tell he is thinking, “Okay all this sounds good, but how do I actually do it?”

And haven’t you ever had that same thought. Just give it to God….okay, how? Where is the line I need to stand in? Is there a “How to” video on You Tube?

So being the intuitive counselor I am, I say, “I bet you want to know how you can really do this, huh? Really give it to God.”

Now the head is nodding emphatically.

Since I don’t have a You Tube video, or a national best selling book the 5 Steps to Giving it All to God, I did what anyone would have done in my situation.

My Experience Giving It To God

I told him how I do it.

We are all created differently, and by the same reasoning, we all have a different relationship with God.

I for one pray all day, read scripture, go to church, listen to sermon podcasts, attend small groups, etc…etc….but their is really only one way that I make the real connection.

There is only one way that I can share my heart in a way that I don’t with any one else in this world.

For me it is when ink hits paper.

It is when I make the time to write to Jesus. It is when ink hits paper that I am most open. It is through these lines that I share and actually listen. I seek His will, and by the time I have used up the pages, I am spent and empty enough to let Jesus in.

And praise God He is so willing to wait. He is willing to wait until I am finished venting, thanking, interceding for others, asking, begging, and in many cases, just pontificating.

When I am spent, I quiet down enough to hear.

It is in these early morning moments, when ink hits paper, that my relationship with Jesus jumps off the pages into a surreal, in-depth, one-on-one conversation that I cherish.

We All Have Our Own Unique Connection To Jesus

For my client it may be in his morning run or on the golf course. For you it may be in praise and worship or on a mountaintop moment of solitude.

I do know that God created us to be in relationship with Him, so I am positive that we all have our method of deep connection with our Creator. And it is all to easy to think of God up in Heaven looking down in disappointment on His children and their lives, but……

what a beautiful orchestra He must hear when all over the world His kids are connecting to Him in their own special way…..

…..a heart felt prayer

…..a grueling mission trip

…..a Mom rocking her newborn to her favorite hymn

…..a man seeking wisdom in His Word

or when ink hits paper on on quiet morning when it is just He and I.

What about you? How or when do you feel the deepest connection with Jesus?

_________________________________________________

Sue J. MIley LPC, MA, MBASue J. Miley LPC, MA, MBA is a licensed counselor who works with individuals and couples to help them to find God’s will in their lives and relationships. As a counselor and coach Sue uses an eclectic approach to healing and direction with a foundation from Scripture.

{ 1 comment }

Waiting Up For Him

January 15, 2012

It’s late and I should be in bed.  Asleep.  Well, it is late for me anyway. Have you ever had one of those days where you don’t want it to end. Nothing special. Just a feeling.  One of anticipation, expectation. As a counselor I talk with people a lot.  About life, love, loss.  Too me [...]

Read the full article →

Understanding the Past for a Healthier Future

January 9, 2012

I am one of those people who hates blaming things on the past.  It all just sounds like excuses to me. Then I became a counselor and sat through many classes explaining why our past effects us so. But I am a rebel at heart and always claim the overcomer’s cry of “I can choose [...]

Read the full article →

This Side of Burnout

December 17, 2011

It’s been a long time.  Maybe 10 years.  I actually worked 9 hours yesterday and still met each person with enthusiasm, energy and anticipation of our time together. I realized after my nine clients hours that I still had energy to cook dinner and spend time lingering in conversation with my husband. I have been feeling [...]

Read the full article →

For Those Who Love Him

September 24, 2011

We were made in God’s image right?  So it is only natural that we want to be loved.  God wants to be loved. At least that is my conclusion based on all the promises to those who love Him. I always quote the verse from Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God [...]

Read the full article →

Counseling Is An Investment

August 24, 2011

by Suzanne Jones LPC, MA One of the most common responses I get when people first hear about counseling, and especially career counseling, is that it is too expensive. But consider what it costs to eat out, to go to the movies, to grab Starbucks on a daily basis. Consider the cost of home repairs [...]

Read the full article →

Following Jesus Can Be Counter-Intuitive

August 10, 2011

We are raised in today’s society to be independent.  We feel pressured to make a name for ourselves.  Not necessarily fame, but attention and positive feedback in our own little world. Think about how early it starts….. …my daughter walked at 9 months. …my son was reading at 4 years old. ….he is an All [...]

Read the full article →

Setting Your Alarm for God

August 9, 2011

It’s funny but my dogs are more excited than the kids about our vacation.  Usually in the morning when we have to get up to go to work, the dogs burrow deeper into the covers all warm and cozy, silently coercing us to stay for a few more minutes. This morning the first move in [...]

Read the full article →

Are You Moving Toward God or Away From Him

July 30, 2011

You know how you hear an amazing sermon or read something in a book that just sticks with you forever? Years later you remember the point, story, lesson, but you can’t remember where exactly you heard it. That is where I am on this. I heard or read this somewhere but I don’t know who [...]

Read the full article →