• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Crossroads Professional Counseling

Christian Counseling | Baton Rouge + Prairieville

Providing Professional Christian Counseling and Coaching to the Baton Rouge and surrounding areas.

225-341-4147
  • Home
  • Christian Counseling
    • Marriage
    • Individual
    • Family
    • Children and Teenagers
  • Life Coaching
  • Coaching Programs
    • Life by Design Program
    • Career By Design Program
  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Sue J. Miley LPC, MA, MBA
    • Suzanne K. Jones, LPC, MA
    • Cheryl Brodnax, LPC, M.A., M.B.A., M.S.
  • Contact Us

How To Keep Regret From Hardening Your Heart

August 1, 2013 By Sue Miley

Hi! Thanks for visiting! To make life easier, you may want to subscribe free to my Email feed. !

Regret is the worst feeling there is.  Wishing you could turn back the hands of time and have a “do over” hurts.  It comes in waves.  You think you are okay and the flash flood knocks you down again.  Over time the waves spread out.   But when they come crashing down again they threaten to take you under.  Fear grips your heart.  Will I make it back to air….to safe ground?

I believe regret is a human creation.  God forgives us fully.  It is like we are washed clean having never sinned.  Sometimes regret isn’t born from our sin.  Sometimes it comes from other’s sin or just plain circumstance.  However, in our human capacity, even if we did not directly create the circumstance, we feel we should have done something to prevent it.

If that were the case, then we would be the one in control.  And we aren’t.

So where does that leave us.  How do we escape regret and bitterness that threatens to harden our heart in the midst of one of the crashing waves.

I know that with most things of God we need to call on Him and wait.  And that is probably true in these circumstances that threaten our health and sanity, but I propose to wait actively.

I know it is probably my personality, but God created me the way I am so I want to go with it.  Some of you may be like me.  You may hate to sit around waiting.  Mostly I hate it because I fear that I am not strong enough to fight off the regret and bitterness passively.

I want to participate and help God, even though I know He doesn’t need my help at all.  So I will participate by actively seeking HIm.  Here is what I have learned in times of regret.

1.  Face the situation head on.  In a wave I am usually hit the hardest if I just stand there.  The best way to save my energy is to jump up over the wave, if possible, or duck under it.  This seems like a lame example, but when my dog was hit by a car at a year and a half, I was heartbroken.  She shouldn’t have been out.  We could have kept this from happening.  I was so upset I couldn’t do anything but cry.   To help us through it, my son and I sat down and wrote out everything we could remember about Sadie.  Every characteristic, event, or feeling we had about her in her short life.  It was heart wrenching, but cathartic in it’s own way.  If you have a difficult hardship in your life, blocking it out and compartmentalizing only serves to let the bitterness incubate.

2.   Review the entire situation.  What can you learn from it?  What could you have done differently?  Anything?  I had a boss once who said we all make mistakes.  Mistakes have an impact on us.  However, the true tragedy in a mistake is if we hang on to it and let it impact our future as well as our past.  All we can do is face the situation and see if there is any learning.  If yes, take it forward.  If not, move forward without bringing the mistake into your future.

3.  Pray about it all.  Ask God what you are supposed to learn.  Pray that He will be your comfort and get you through.  Even if your regret is from your own sin, ask Him for forgiveness.  Don’t hide.  You can’t anyway.  Pray that He will redeem you.  Pray specifically that He will help you find your way forward.

4.  Focus on Jesus.  I don’t know about you, but when I stay focused on me, I get so sick of myself.  I can’t stand to think about me for one more minute and feel sorry for God that He has to listen to the same old prayers over and over again.  Once I get this way, I ask Him to put me to work on something else, someone else.  I look for ways to help others.  I try to serve.  There are many other ways to focus on Jesus; this is my best way.

5.  Let go and let God.  I know.  I hate cliches too.  But this one really works here.  When the wave of regret comes again when you aren’t expecting it, the power isn’t quite as strong as the initial storm.  Sometimes it is better to just let go of any resistance and let the wave take you.  It will soon pass.  God has you and will plant you back on your feet once still water comes.  He loves us no matter what.  He is in control and He can deliver us.

These steps may not feel like action to you, but trust me, they take hard work.

More importantly, they lead to healing.

They lead to a closer relationship with Jesus.

They lead to an open heart.

They lead to no regret.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Christian Living Tagged With: hope, relationship with God, Suffering

About Sue Miley

Sue earned her undergraduate degree in Finance at Louisiana State University in 1986. In 1993 she completed her Masters in Business Administration with a focus on Marketing. In 2004, she earned a Masters in Education – Community Counseling.

Primary Sidebar

Connect With US

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Blog Categories

  • Anxiety/Depression
  • Career
  • Christian Living
  • conflict resolution
  • Emotions
  • Interpersonal Skills
  • Marriage/Couples
  • Mental Health
  • Parenting/Family
  • Transitions
  • Uncategorized

Visit our Christian Business Coaching Site

Crossroads-Professional-Coaching

Where Christian Values & Good Business Converge

Footer

VISIT OUR CHRISTIAN BUSINESS COACHING WEBSITE

Crossroads-Coach-Logo-in-White

SUBSCRIBE FOR RESOURCES, UPDATES AND ARTICLES

CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING

8280 YMCA Plaza Dr.
Building 10-B
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 70810
(225) 341-4147

CONNECT WITH US

Facebook-Icon Google-Plus-Icon Linkedin-Icon Twitter-Icon

Copyright © 2023 · CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING | Privacy Policy | Privacy Tools

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT