• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Crossroads Professional Counseling

Christian Counseling | Baton Rouge + Prairieville

Providing Professional Christian Counseling and Coaching to the Baton Rouge and surrounding areas.

225-341-4147
  • Home
  • Christian Counseling
    • Marriage
    • Individual
    • Family
    • Children and Teenagers
  • Life Coaching
  • Coaching Programs
    • Life by Design Program
    • Career By Design Program
  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Sue J. Miley LPC, MA, MBA
    • Suzanne K. Jones, LPC, MA
    • Cheryl Brodnax, LPC, M.A., M.B.A., M.S.
  • Contact Us

The ‘Follow Your Arrow’ Fallacy

September 30, 2021 By Cheryl Brodnax

Hi! Thanks for visiting! To make life easier, you may want to subscribe free to my Email feed. !

making decisions based on emotion

There’s a catchy country tune that topped the charts not long ago that sung about people following their arrow wherever it points. It talks about doing whatever you want because you only live once, and to let your feelings guide you. The song won awards and I’m guessing for good reason, because people like what it says.

The ‘follow your arrow’, ‘you do you’, and YOLO (you only live once) philosophy heralds living for self and chasing after whatever makes us happy. What’s to hate? I like freedom, I like being true to myself, and I like being happy. There’s nothing wrong with living authentically; however, the method of pursuit matters. 

On the surface, this philosophy promises a lot. One could guess this type of ‘freedom’ would cause an outbreak of happiness. So why isn’t it? Over the last decade depression and anxiety are on the rise, especially among young adults. Suicide rates are climbing, as are mental illness trends. Given longitudinal research on the topic, I’m going to say that on whole, society is not happier.

The fallacy in ‘following your arrow’ is that it is focused on making decisions based on emotions, often without the balance of logic and reason. As well, there’s aimlessness in always living in the moment that often results in just feeling lost. In reality, we may end up following our arrows right off an emotional cliff. I like the idea of pursuing my happiness arrow, but again, the method of pursuit matters. 

Balancing the brain 

Straight up, our feelings will lie to us. Feelings are experiences, they are not always logical, and they do not have meaning on their own until we assign meaning to them. Don’t get me wrong, emotions are important in telling us something is off balance and needs attention, but making decisions based on emotions is risky because they change. We need to engage the other side of our brain, the thinking brain, to gain perspective and challenge the validity of our rationale. I’ve known people who have left jobs, colleges, marriages, etc because they didn’t feel ‘happy’.

They followed their arrow to other pastures thinking their condition would improve. Some did; others had incredible remorse. For those, maybe their emotions were signaling that something was wrong, but with work, perseverance, and perspective it could become right again. Chasing emotions in random directions doesn’t allow that process to happen, which can seriously send us in the wrong direction.  

Getting grounded

I’ve been spared from more than one disastrous follow-my-arrow decision in my life. I insisted on letting my emotions guide me instead of triangulating feelings with my logical brain and spirit. These are the other facets of our minds that keep us from being held hostage by our emotional brain. When feelings are all over the place, it’s important to ground them with what you know to be true and unchanging. This kind of moral compass can keep our emotional arrows from flying all over the place with no sense of direction or larger purpose.

Sometimes we have to push past feelings to seek what is real about a situation and allow personal growth a chance to happen. People often make sense of their lives by how they feel, and less by who they are. As such, they often run from hard emotions and challenges that are needed to teach character, resiliency, and identity. There has been a short-circuiting of self-discovery because few people are willing to be grounded and taught by life’s challenges.

When life gets shaky, we can’t just grab on to the next arrow pointing to the side exit. Confidence, self-esteem, and perseverance grows (and anxiety shrinks) when we stay the course and work through it, even when our emotions are telling us to bail. 

There’s more than just this

The ‘follow your arrow’ philosophy puts a lot of burden on us to figure out where true happiness and fulfillment dwells. Frankly, I don’t want to follow my arrow. I want to follow God’s arrow. He knows what I don’t know, and He’s got the plan for my life. “Acknowledge Me in all your ways and I will make your path straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

God is a much better tour guide than me, and He knows what I need to be filled body, heart, soul, mind, and spirit. This is where true freedom lives, not in an emotion-chase that jumps from one temporary satisfaction to the next. My existence is much more than my temporary happiness on this earth, which when harnessed, goes a long way to remove fear and hopelessness about the future.

Following His precepts above my own creates order, purpose, peace, and freedom that lead to something even better than happiness: joy. That’s the life direction that never disappoints, and never leads astray.  

I’m all about carpe diem, but I do recognize our feelings’ limitations in figuring out what that means. When contemplating a life choice or major decision, our emotions, logic, and morals should all line up. That’s a big indicator that our arrow is pointing in the right direction. There’s a lot to be said for trusting our instincts, but if our instincts are right there should also be a sound argument to hold it up.

People are not always objective when heavy emotions are in play, so it can be really useful to bounce ideas and feelings off of others who can be objective. If this is you, we can be those people. You can find us at (225) 341-4147.   

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Anxiety/Depression, Christian Living Tagged With: emotional management, emotions, god's guidance, life experience, relationships, Stress and anxiety

About Cheryl Brodnax

My philosophy on counseling is that the client is the expert on their life; and my role as a helper in Christ is to assist clients in processing their experiences, releasing past or present hurts, and developing tools for healing that draw on their own individual strengths and values.

My areas of counseling experience include individual, couple, family, and group counseling for all ages, with a focus on children and adolescent therapy. Areas of focus include treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, behavioral issues, grief, trauma, and relationship distress.

Primary Sidebar

Connect With US

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Blog Categories

  • Anxiety/Depression
  • Career
  • Christian Living
  • conflict resolution
  • Emotions
  • Interpersonal Skills
  • Marriage/Couples
  • Mental Health
  • Parenting/Family
  • Transitions
  • Uncategorized

Visit our Christian Business Coaching Site

Crossroads-Professional-Coaching

Where Christian Values & Good Business Converge

Footer

VISIT OUR CHRISTIAN BUSINESS COACHING WEBSITE

Crossroads-Coach-Logo-in-White

SUBSCRIBE FOR RESOURCES, UPDATES AND ARTICLES

CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING

8280 YMCA Plaza Dr.
Building 10-B
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 70810
(225) 341-4147

CONNECT WITH US

Facebook-Icon Google-Plus-Icon Linkedin-Icon Twitter-Icon

Copyright © 2023 · CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING | Privacy Policy | Privacy Tools

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT