“Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is a quote that I am sure you have heard many times throughout your life. It has been told to me often, sometimes used in jest, but it is a quote that holds a lot of weight for me. I have struggled throughout the years with comparison and the pitfalls that come with it. It is a slippery slope, and if you are not careful, falling into the comparison trap can lead you down a hole of self-doubt, insecurities, and bitterness rooted in jealousy.
I know I am not alone in this; I have seen it countless times around me, and regardless of age, we all struggle with it at different points. We compare our marriages, children, vacations, cars, job titles… you name it, and we will try to see how we measure up.
There are two paths that comparison can take us down. We can take the path that belittles someone else so that we can feel better about ourselves, or we can take the path where we doubt ourselves, lose our self-confidence, and diminish our worth. We become so consumed by what we don’t have and lose sight of all the gifts in our lives.
Comparison can lead to strained relationships…children who grow up resenting their parents because they feel like they were never good enough or could never measure up.
It can contribute to a string of poor decisions…credit card debt piles up because the ‘keeping up with the Jones’ mentality has you living outside your means.
There is no real fulfillment in playing the comparison game. It has to be exhausting, right? I believe Satan can use comparison as a funnel to feed us lies that we aren’t good enough, or smart enough, or we won’t be happy until we have what they have. So, how do we avoid the comparison trap?
Be Intentional About Practicing Gratitude
I find that the times that I am thanking God for what He has given me and who He has made me to be, I am less inclined to compare my situation and myself to others. Even when my circumstances are not great, or I am anxious, sad, and going through a hard time, I can still be thankful that He is in control, and I can rest in His Word. I love this quote by Ann Voskamp on gratitude. I believe we can use the practice of gratitude to combat the negativity of comparison.
“Gratitude is not only a response to God in good times – it’s ultimately the very will of God in hard times. Gratitude isn’t only a celebration when good things happen. It’s a declaration that God is good no matter what happens.”
– Ann Voskamp
Focus on Loving God and Loving Others
Another way is to focus our time on our relationship with God. I find myself more at peace reading His Word, listening to worship, and enjoying His creation. I also find much more joy when I celebrate the accomplishments of those around me, cheering alongside them and partaking in their excitement rather than being jealous. Those are things that bring me deep fulfillment.
Avoid the Social Media Trap
Social media now gives us a window into so many people’s lives. Family, close friends, and now strangers, even more so than ever. While there can be some good things, like following bloggers for home décor inspiration or chefs for new recipe ideas, there is a rabbit hole we can go down. Remember that you are not getting the whole picture of someone’s life on social media. If you find yourself comparing yourself, take a social media detox.
I believe we all have unique skills, talents, and gifts, and more than anything, we each have a purpose. God created each of us uniquely and intentionally and has put us where we are for a reason. If we focus so much on what other people have that we don’t, we miss out on the beauty and gifts He has right before us. As I write this, I find it timely that Easter weekend is approaching. This is a time to reflect and celebrate our freedom in Jesus’ death and resurrection.
I think of the old hymn called Give Me Jesus and a line that says, “You can have all this world, But give me Jesus.” At the end of the day, no materialistic item, amount of money, or job title will bring us the type of fulfillment that we find in Christ. We already have the greatest gift of salvation; what more could we need?
