• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Crossroads Professional Counseling

Christian Counseling | Baton Rouge + Prairieville

Providing Professional Christian Counseling and Coaching to the Baton Rouge and surrounding areas.

225-341-4147
  • Home
  • Christian Counseling
    • Marriage
    • Individual
    • Family
    • Children and Teenagers
  • Life Coaching
  • Coaching Programs
    • Life by Design Program
    • Career By Design Program
  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Sue J. Miley LPC, MA, MBA
    • Suzanne K. Jones, LPC, MA
    • Cheryl Brodnax, LPC, M.A., M.B.A., M.S.
  • Contact Us

How to Overcome and Cope with Loneliness

December 2, 2021 By Cheryl Brodnax

Hi! Thanks for visiting! To make life easier, you may want to subscribe free to my Email feed. !

how to overcome loneliness

Sometimes people ask me how I come up with topics for these blogs. It’s not always easy, sometimes the idea well runs a little dry and I find myself staring at a blank screen for awhile. Other times God puts a topic on my heart and the words fly.

Usually the things I feel He gives me to say are words I need to hear just as much as anyone else. Authors are often taught to “write what you know”, it’s more genuine. For this month this is what I know, people are lonely. It doesn’t matter their background, social status, marital status, etc. I’m seeing an outbreak of loneliness that’s contributing to a malaise that’s hard to put a finger on.

Feeling this way is hard enough, but it’s even more confusing when on paper our loneliness makes little sense. 

I know many people who have families, tons of friends, a good job, are constantly surrounded by people, and yet are lonely. I get it, I’ve been there too. The last thing socially active people should feel is lonely. It happens though, and I believe the short answer is there’s a difference between being physically alone, and being emotionally connected.

There’s no doubt that physical aloneness is hard, but if being around others was the antidote, simply finding a crowd would solve our loneliness. It isn’t good enough though, because no amount of companionship satisfies if there’s not also emotional connection, which at our core is what we need the most. 

Get Out of the Shallows

We basically get out of relationships what we’re willing to put in to them. Many times when I’ve felt disconnected, it was because I did the disconnecting. I haven’t always had the time, energy, or interest to go deep in my relationships.

The result was shallow relationships that weren’t always available when I needed them. In growing older I’ve come to value my relationships more than my convenience. Emotional connection requires commitment and energy. We feel lonely because we fear the lack of someone knowing us to our core, and loving us anyway. Staying on the surface may bring companionship, but it fails to build the intimacy that we all desire.

If we want to be less lonely, we need to enter in to vulnerable spaces with one another and cultivate friendships based on trust and reliability.    

Need a Friend? Be a Friend

Friends don’t fall out of the sky, we have to make ourselves available and go to where real life happens. There is so much human need in this world. Getting out of our heads and into the lives of others not only improves our perspective, it creates a feeling of usefulness and community.

Friendships are often born from common experiences and values that find a cause. One of the best ways I’ve been able to shake off loneliness is to actually be proactive in reaching out to existing friends, as well as find new opportunities to participate in things that seem worthwhile.

When we’re lonely it’s easy to get in a funk and start doubting ourselves, which then just perpetuates the funk, so we need to break the cycle and stop isolating out of fear. Being a friend can’t help but to win us friends.

When we demonstrate the hands and feet of Christ, we find fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7).    

Some Loneliness is Inevitable

I know this sounds defeating, but it’s both realistic and scriptural. David often wrote about loneliness in the Psalms, and Paul lamented many times in the New Testament about being deserted by friends. Even Jesus commented about being abandoned by those closest to him at his time of persecution.

I believe that loneliness is a factor of our human condition, and an artifact of still not being fully connected with God on this side of heaven. C.S. Lewis famously wrote that “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” King David felt this when he said “there is nothing on earth that I desire but you” (Psalm 73).

If we were fully contented in this world, even while being physically separated from our Creator who knows us like no one else, there would be no reason to press on to the upward call of our salvation (Philippians 3:14). Longing for the full fellowship of Christ, and our heavenly home, should be expected and may make us all feel lonely at times.

In His mercy though, God gives us the fellowship of the saints on this side of heaven, and most of all, He gives us Himself. 

God promises to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). We have to do our part of the deal though, which is drawing near to God so we can feel Him draw near to us (James 4:8). We have to be willing to make a move in order to feel communion with our Maker. After all, knowing God and being known by Him is the only relationship that will fully satisfy. Anything else may be lovely, but a very distant second place.

If you need help working through your loneliness, you really aren’t alone. We’re here to help you find connection. Give us a call at 225-341-4147 to make an appointment.  

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Emotions, Interpersonal Skills

About Cheryl Brodnax

My philosophy on counseling is that the client is the expert on their life; and my role as a helper in Christ is to assist clients in processing their experiences, releasing past or present hurts, and developing tools for healing that draw on their own individual strengths and values.

My areas of counseling experience include individual, couple, family, and group counseling for all ages, with a focus on children and adolescent therapy. Areas of focus include treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, behavioral issues, grief, trauma, and relationship distress.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Liz Smith says

    December 1, 2021 at 6:59 pm

    Wonderful blog –
    It was warm and insightful.

Primary Sidebar

Connect With US

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Blog Categories

  • Anxiety/Depression
  • Career
  • Christian Living
  • conflict resolution
  • Emotions
  • Interpersonal Skills
  • Marriage/Couples
  • Mental Health
  • Parenting/Family
  • Transitions
  • Uncategorized

Visit our Christian Business Coaching Site

Crossroads-Professional-Coaching

Where Christian Values & Good Business Converge

Footer

VISIT OUR CHRISTIAN BUSINESS COACHING WEBSITE

Crossroads-Coach-Logo-in-White

SUBSCRIBE FOR RESOURCES, UPDATES AND ARTICLES

CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING

8280 YMCA Plaza Dr.
Building 10-B
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 70810
(225) 341-4147

CONNECT WITH US

Facebook-Icon Google-Plus-Icon Linkedin-Icon Twitter-Icon

Copyright © 2023 · CROSSROADS PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING | Privacy Policy | Privacy Tools

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT