The perspective shift we all need.
My last semester before I graduated college was like a lot of people’s last semesters. I had capstone classes, an internship, and I was deciding about next steps in my life. I’d often run from class to my internship, then home to study late into the night.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Because of my personality, I can tend for things to feel heavy and harder than they need to be. I’m really prone towards stress, harshness and intensity. One day, while going from class to work, I was telling myself the same narrative I had grown accustomed to: first I gotta do this, then I’ll do that. And then I’ll have to do the other thing. It’s all so heavy and so much. I never have time to take a break.
Then, out of nowhere, I had this thought that re-framed everything in an instance:
This is supposed to be fun.
Wait…what??
Fun?! This?! But this is so hard. This is so stressful! It’s constantly go-go-go. It’s a heaviness that sits on me.
It is. But it doesn’t have to be. This is *supposed to be* fun.
Instantly, my perspective shifted.
What if I continued doing all the same things I had to do, but I approached them with a light-hearted attitude?
What if part of the heaviness of the demands was merely something I was unnecessarily identifying with?
Would it really be possible to do the same things but in fact…have fun doing it?
There was only one way to find out: I tested the theory.
I went about my same schedule as before, but with an energy that was lighter and less intense. Guess what happened? I felt lighter and less intense! Everything still got done, but I remembered that everything on my to-do list was actually an honor and blessing to get to do it.
A few years later in grad school, I had to remind myself of that truth again: this is supposed to be fun. If it’s not fun, you’re not in the right program.
While giving birth without pain meds, I told myself again: this is supposed to be fun. You chose this avenue because you wanted to experience it. The discomfort doesn’t have to keep it from being fun. It’s just hard but that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyed.
When I was chaotically getting ready to launch my first book, the stress felt high and it seemed like there were a million irons in the fire. (There were.) Then I remembered: this is supposed to be fun! I wrote a book I was proud of with my friend and colleague. In other words: this is a good problem to have!
It’s an honor to have this problem! I don’t have to internalize the psychological stress that presents itself. I can instead stay in a lane of lightness and spontaneity. The same tasks will still need to be done, but the emotional heaviness is optional.
So…what about you? Am I the only one prone to emotional dread?
In what areas are you having a hard time detaching from the identity of heavy laden stress? Are there any difficulties in your life that you need to bring a lighter perspective to?
Is your marriage feeling miserable? Are you constantly feeling drained by your work? Are you in routine yelling matches with your teen? This is supposed to be fun! If it’s not…you’re doing it wrong. Some stuff may require change in position, but most often what is required is a change in perspective.
Remember…stress is more of a choice of mindset than an irrefutable fact. Whatever life may bring your way, remind yourself: This is supposed to be fun!
