I said a quick prayer and pressed the send button. This action is, of course, after I wrote, edited, rewrote, re-edited, and prayed that the person on the other end would understand my words and my heart.
The Struggle with Digital Communication
My thoughts raced. This topic is better discussed in a conversation, but I couldn’t figure out how and when I could make that happen.
It will be okay. Won’t it, Lord?
Have you ever had this feeling over an email or a text?
Especially now, in the 21st century, where more and more communication is digital and truncated by the tools being used. Is it ruining our ability to navigate relationships in a healthy way?
Why I Prefer Face-to-Face Communication
I prefer face-to-face verbal communication for several reasons:
- The other person can hear my tone and see my body language and facial expressions. There is so much more a person can understand from in-person communication.
- I can better gauge how my words are received by observing the other person’s body language, facial expressions, and responses.
- It is easier to correct a misunderstanding on the spot and prevent it from festering into misguided assumptions and inferences.
- At least, for better or worse, you know how the conversation ends. There is closure.
Sometimes, God shows mercy, and the other person responds quickly to your email or text. Their message, if received as intended, at least lets you off the hook. Or you find out if you need to get in front of the other person or connect over the phone. But, at least you know.
The Rise of Digital Communication
More and more communication is turning digital. I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked really hard to improve my verbal communication. I wanted to enhance my emotional intelligence in conversations, conflicts, or even arguments.
Communication is an important life skill for everyone.
Yet, with the increasing use of digital communication, it has also devolved into digital slang, emojis, gifs, new words that aren’t in a dictionary, and little, if any, punctuation or grammar. What could go wrong?
Are We Building Genuine Relationships?
If most of your communication is digital, are you even building genuine relationships?
People often present a different side of themselves in writing than in person. Just look at all the political rhetoric on social media. I read what some people write and the back-and-forth debates that happen on Facebook and wonder, “Who are these people?” I thought I knew them.
It’s an extrapolation, but it makes me wonder about direct communication between me and others.
Is what they type to me real? Do they mean it, or are they just braver because they don’t have to look me in the eye? And if they say they didn’t mean what they said, does that mean I shouldn’t believe any nice things they might say?
This ambiguity is the communication dilemma in a world gone digital.
Thoughts on Navigating Digital Communication
If you’ve ever had these concerns or feel the same uncertainty and don’t know how to participate, here are some thoughts for both of us.
I feel that none of us, not even millions of us, can stop the progression towards more digital communication. If the power grid were destroyed one day, I guess that could bring us back to the 19th or 20th century.
But short of an apocalyptic event, we have to learn to participate in the digital world.
My Plan for Balancing Digital and In-Person Communication
Here’s my plan:
- Continue to strive for in-person conversations whenever possible, whether in conflict or general communication. I won’t give up on real relationships. I want to be with people in real time, not trade sentence fragments over several days. Lately, I have focused more on inviting people to meet for lunch, come to dinner, or even come hang out and paint with me. I still get a lot of yes answers, which gives me hope that other people still really want face time, too.
- When real-time is limited, I will try to maximize the digital tools we have. This can include video calls with faraway family and friends. Just yesterday, my almost 2-year-old grandson FaceTimed me while I was driving home. It wasn’t safe to talk while driving, but seeing his big smile on my screen made my day.
- I will stay disciplined, and even when communicating digitally, I will use complete sentences with proper punctuation and actual words. Or try. I don’t think they have Grammarly on text yet!
- When intent and understanding are essential, I will take the time to use my writing skills to communicate not only the message but how I feel and what I want the other person to hear, understand, and feel. Yes, it takes more time, but it’s worth it if misunderstandings are avoided.
- And even when I fear being misunderstood, I will still press send. In this modern world, if the alternative is to stay silent, we are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of misunderstanding.
Digital is Better Than Nothing
I understand that, on occasion, silence may be wise. But if silence becomes the default to avoid digital communication, it sends a different message. The result could be isolation from many personal and business relationships. The potential for withdrawal scares me.
I’m not a fan of “if you can’t beat them, join them,” but if we work hard to maintain our authentic voice in all communications—regardless of format or tool—at least we stay connected. God created us for connection; just like all things of value, we need to put in the effort.
Writing is a Lost Art
Writing is a beautiful art and form of communication. Our heart can be heard in the written word if we fully express what we are trying to say. So, stay face-to-face connected whenever possible, use digital platforms as a tool—not a weapon to hide behind—and when participating, maintain the quality of your written word so that the receiver will hear, understand, and know your heart.
