Very rarely is there one thing that can change that really benefits you across every aspect of your life. Most small shifts in thinking or perspective work at home but fall short at work, or vice versa. But over the next few days, we will discuss one tip that can truly add value and usher in successful outcomes in every role you play, be it spouse, parent, employee, boss, student, friend, adult child, etc. I’m not much for the idea of “one and done life hacks to revolutionize your life,” but when it comes to this tip, it truly can change things at a foundational level that can impact your life across the board.
Here it is: Figure out a way to give a rip about whatever is in front of you.If you want to be awesome at whatever is in front of you, you must figure out a way to give a rip about it.
The first time I ever thought about this concept was in high school. Our principal, Mr. Grimmer, stuck his head into our geometry class and gave an impromptu speech to the effect of, “Here’s the truth: unless you go into the advanced math field as a career, you’ll truly never use geometry except for when you’re figuring out how much paint or carpet to buy. But that’s not the point. You’ve gotta figure out a way to take on this challenge and do a good job in this class anyway because making a good grade in here will unlock the next door to the future.”
I recalled that lesson a few years later, sitting in an undergraduate classroom, not at all caring about one of my gen ed requirements. My disinterest in Western Civilizations was standing in the way of me moving on to classes I would be more interested in, namely, my major classes in organizational communications. I had to figure out a way to get interested so that I could move on to things that would be more fulfilling for me and that seemed as though they would actually apply to my life.
Flash forward a few years later after graduate school, in the midst of the very common yet awkward transition from full-time student to full-time employee, I found myself stuck in the monotony of a specific task that my boss wanted me to accomplish but I felt had little value to my actual responsibilities. I remembered that truth again: you’ve gotta find a way to get interested in this, because there’s value in being a good employee. Indeed, there is value because it can mean an increase in job security, but there is also intrinsic value in the character it takes to be a good employee.
In my current phase of life, there are times when my husband is passionate about things that I wouldn’t naturally be interested in. And while I do fully support the idea of spouses having some individual hobbies that they can do by themselves or with friends, when it comes to passions, I think it’s important to figure out a way to become interested so you can be more supportive. So yes, I am now more versed in abstract art and the local artist community than I would have ever expected myself to be and at this point, I can honestly say I really enjoy it.
So what about you? What do you need to get interested in so that you can become a better friend, partner, parent, employee, volunteer, etc.? What’s standing in your way between here and where you’d like to be? Could a shift in attitude help unlock that door?Join me over the next few days as we unpack the question of “HOW” to figure out a way to give a rip about whatever is in front of you. I fully believe that there are better days ahead than anything we’ve left behind. Let’s figure out how to get there together!And, as always, if any of this brings up anything you’d like to discuss in a counseling or coaching session, you can reach me here.
Offices in Baton Rouge, Denham Springs and Walker, Louisiana.
Part 2
Yesterday we looked at one small step that can bring about big change in all roles of your life and WHY it is important to take that step.
Today we will begin to unpack HOW you can bring about this change in your life by looking at the first part of this statement:
Figure out a way to give a rip about whatever is in front of you.
Figure out a way…
More often than not, this process of “learning to give a rip” has to start with “figuring out a way” because you’re just genuinely not interested in whatever it is you’re facing. You’re not interested in your math homework…your TPS report…your husband’s March Madness bracket…your kid’s tuba practice…whatever. It takes a degree of intellectual creativity to re-work the challenge in front of you until you can find a way to get interested in it.
- Look at the issue through a different light than usual.
- Put your frustrations to the side for a moment.
- Think of someone who is truly interested in the issue.
- What do you think they like about it?
- Maybe there’s something in it that you can use to increase your interest.
Like all things of value, setting your intentions in a new direction requires some work. You’ve got to “steer the ship” to the place you want it to go. Negative thoughts about the effort that is required, about whatever else you’d rather be doing, or about how lame something is will pop in your head and offer you an enticing distraction to move on to something you’re more comfortable with.
Show those thoughts whose boss and redirect them to where you truly want them to go. It takes time and intentionality. You won’t see a big change over night. But if you stick with it and develop a true interest, the rewards are worth it and will go beyond what you can see on the surface.Tomorrow we will continue to discuss the HOW component of “giving a rip.”
If this discussion has been helpful to you, please feel free to pass this article along to someone who may also find it interesting.If you have any questions about the counseling process, feel free to read our FAQs or contact me here.
Part 3
Figure out a way to give a rip about whatever is in front of you.
Today we will look at what genuine interest looks like, even in difficult situations. Yesterday we looked at how you can “figure out a way” to lead yourself to the attitude that you’d like to have. Let’s continue on with the second part of the perspective shift that could bring positive impact across all areas of your life….to give a rip…
In order to be a good spouse, parent, employee, friend, etc. you have to be as interested in the task or topic as the person you’re dealing with. Think about it: if your child is really interested in soccer but you could not care less, there’s no way that won’t come across to your child on some level. You’ll either foster resentment and isolation in your child, or you’ll see their interest level fizzle out. And that goes to all roles in your life. Your interest or “ability to give a rip” directly impacts your relationships with others.
People can sense feigned interest and it causes the loss of life-giving and energizing excitement. In marriage this comes across as lack of respect, dismissal, or conditional love and support. In work this reads like lack of commitment to the company.
Love who and what your spouse loves, (obviously this doesn’t apply if your spouse is in an unhealthy place such as addiction) and they will feel understood and supported.
Get excited about what your boss is excited about, and you’ll enjoy your work environment more, and possibly even experience advancement in your career.
Care about what your child cares about, and you’ll see that thing flourish within them.
In your friendships, if you pay attention and follow up about what is on the heart and mind of your friend, you’ll develop the kinds of bonds that last a lifetime.
Don’t let the most important relationships in your life be impacted because you can’t figure out a way to give a rip about what matters to them most. You’ll enjoy the strengthened connection between you when you make what is important to them, important to you!
Part 4
We’ve looked at why it’s important for your character, how it can positively impact your personal and professional life, and how to guide yourself towards feeling more interested. Finally we will look at how dealing with one task at a time is the final trick in accomplishing your goal.
Figure out a way to give a rip about whatever is in front of you.
…about whatever is in front of you.For several years now, multi-tasking has been championed as what busy people do to accomplish a lot of productive things at once. In truth, the research indicates the opposite: that multi-tasking is counter productive and causes tasks to take longer, be less efficient, or see a dip in quality. The vast majority are truly built to be “one thing at a time” people. Yet there is still this cultural draw to boast about being a “good multi-tasker” mostly because it makes you look really busy and important.Multi-tasking can also be so appealing when you’re trying to just “get by” with your interest level. You can look like you’re invested but still distract yourself with what you’d rather be doing. You’re at your kids soccer game, but you’re returning phone calls. You asked your wife how her day was, but you’re listening while checking Facebook. (Hey-O! I guarantee I just stepped on somebody’s toes! Call me!) You seem to be doing the “right” thing but you’re not really invested…you’re not really giving a rip.
Divided attention can really shoot you in the foot. Intentionally give yourself fully to the task in front of you at school, at work, at home, at church, at the ballpark.
Jim Elliot puts it this way, “Wherever you are, be all there.”In the course of any given day, we all play multiple roles. Fight the urge to bring the task from this morning into the afternoon. Don’t cook dinner thinking about your conversation with your coworker. Don’t give a sit through the sermon at church thinking about the fight you had with your sister. The mental energy it takes to focus on two or more roles at once really removes you from the moment and you lose the potency that is possible by being fully present.
When you invest yourself fully in the relationship or task before you, a part of your character grows that you’ll notice immediately, and so will others around you. And that’s what learning how to “give a rip” is really all about: growing your own character so you can be the best “you” in all roles of life.
