What Abraham and Sarah Teach Married Couples About Unexpected Detours, Trusting God, and Walking Forward Together
Most marriages aren’t built in the extraordinary moments. They are built in the ordinary ones.
They are built over morning coffee before work, conversations around the dinner table, Saturday projects around the house, cheering from the sidelines at children’s games, serving at church, taking family vacations, paying bills, laughing together, and dreaming about the future.
For many couples, life is genuinely good. Not perfect. Just good.
Then something unexpected happens.
A door closes.
Not necessarily a tragedy.
Not a devastating loss.
Just a door you were convinced God had opened.
The promotion doesn’t happen.
The business opportunity falls through.
The offer on the house isn’t accepted.
The ministry position goes to someone else.
The move you’ve been planning suddenly doesn’t work out.
The timing changes.
The opportunity disappears.
The answer is “no.”
Those moments can quietly shake a marriage.
Not because they destroy your relationship, but because they leave you asking questions you never expected to ask.
“God, I thought this was You.”
“Did we hear You wrong?”
“Did we make the wrong decision?”
“Did we miss Your will?”
Those questions are not signs of weak faith. They’re honest questions that arise when expectations collide with reality. Abraham and Sarah knew exactly what that felt like. When we study their lives, we often focus on the promises God made.
But we don’t spend enough time noticing the unexpected turns, the delays, and the closed doors they encountered along the way.
Perhaps one of the greatest lessons their story teaches us is this: Following God doesn’t always mean walking through open doors. Sometimes it means trusting Him when He closes one.
The Door We Thought Was the Answer
Genesis 12 begins with an invitation that changed everything. God called Abraham to leave what was familiar and trust Him with a future he could not yet see. It would have been easy to assume that once Abraham obeyed, every step would become clearer.
Instead, his journey became anything but predictable.
That is often how marriage feels. We pray. We seek wisdom. We believe we are following God’s leading. Then something changes.
Our natural response is to assume the closed door means we misunderstood Him.
Psychologically, this is what we experience as expectation disruption.
Our minds naturally create stories about how life should unfold. We anticipate outcomes. We imagine timelines. We connect events together into a picture that makes sense. When that picture suddenly changes, our brains immediately begin searching for an explanation.
Sometimes we tell ourselves,
“We must have done something wrong.”
“Maybe God changed His mind.”
“Maybe we missed His voice.”
Those thoughts feel convincing because our minds crave certainty. But a closed door is not necessarily evidence that we have failed. Sometimes it is simply evidence that God is still leading.
When Our Minds Try to Fill in the Blanks
One of the most fascinating things about the human mind is that it dislikes unanswered questions. When we don’t know why something happened, our brains often create an explanation. As therapists, we call these cognitive distortions. We assume we know why something happened when we actually don’t.
We predict a negative future before it has arrived.
We personalize events that may have nothing to do with us.
Couples do this all the time.
“We should have taken the other job.”
“We missed God’s timing.”
“If only we had waited.”
“If only we had prayed more.”
“If only we had made a different decision.”
But Scripture rarely gives us every reason behind God’s timing. Instead, it continually calls us back to God’s character. There is a significant difference between not understanding God’s direction and believing God has abandoned His direction. One reflects uncertainty. The other questions His faithfulness.
Abraham Didn’t Always Know What God Was Doing
When we read Abraham’s story from beginning to end, it feels beautifully connected.
But Abraham didn’t have the privilege of reading the last chapter while living the first one.
He walked one step at a time. There were seasons of waiting. Seasons of uncertainty.
Moments where God’s promise seemed delayed.
Moments where the next step wasn’t obvious.
Yet God never stopped leading.
That is encouraging because most marriages don’t need every answer.
They simply need enough trust to take the next faithful step together.
Walking Together Matters More Than Having Every Answer
One of the healthiest things a couple can do during uncertain seasons is resist the temptation to solve everything immediately. Sometimes there isn’t a problem to solve. Sometimes there is simply a season to walk through.
When a door closes, couples often become consumed with finding the next door.
“What should we do?”
“Where do we go?”
“What’s God’s plan?”
Those are important questions. But there may be a better one.
How can we stay connected while we wait?
Research consistently shows that healthy marriages are strengthened not because couples avoid uncertainty, but because they remain emotionally connected while walking through it. Instead of turning inward, they turn toward one another. Instead of carrying disappointment alone, they share it. Instead of trying to control the future, they choose to trust together.
Sometimes God’s greatest work isn’t changing the circumstances. Sometimes it’s deepening the partnership.
Jehovah Jireh: We Often Recognize God’s Provision Looking Back
Genesis 22 is often remembered because of Abraham’s willingness to trust God. But there’s another beautiful truth hidden in the story.
After God provided the ram in place of Isaac, Abraham named that place Jehovah Jireh, meaning, “The Lord Sees and Will Provide.”
Notice when Abraham gave God that name. It wasn’t before he climbed the mountain. It wasn’t while he was walking in uncertainty. It wasn’t while he was asking questions. It was after he experienced God’s provision.
God had always been Jehovah Jireh. Abraham simply came to know Him in that way through what he had just experienced.
Isn’t that often true in our own lives? There are seasons when we don’t understand what God is doing. We pray, we wait, and sometimes all we can see is the closed door in front of us. But as time passes, we begin to look back and recognize God’s fingerprints all over the journey.
The job we desperately wanted wasn’t the place where God intended us to flourish.
The house that fell through made room for the home that fit our family even better.
The opportunity that disappeared protected us from something we couldn’t see.
The delay wasn’t God’s absence. It was His preparation.
Looking back, we often discover that what felt like disappointment was actually divine direction.
That’s why Abraham could call the place Jehovah Jireh. He wasn’t declaring that God had finally become a Provider. He was declaring that he had personally experienced the God who had been faithful all along.
What If the Closed Door Isn’t Rejection?
What if the closed door isn’t God rejecting your plans?
What if it’s God refining them?
What if it isn’t evidence that you failed?
What if it’s evidence that He is still writing the story?
Isaiah reminds us,
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
– Isaiah 43:18–19
The challenge is that we often cannot perceive the new thing while we are staring at the closed door. We become so focused on what didn’t happen that we miss what God is beginning.
Four Questions Every Couple Can Ask
The next time a door closes, instead of immediately asking, “What did we do wrong?” consider asking these questions together.
What expectations are we grieving?
Sometimes we aren’t grieving the event itself. We’re grieving the future we imagined. Naming that grief helps us move forward.
What assumptions are we making that we cannot actually know?
Be careful not to let your mind fill in blanks that only God can fill.
How can we stay connected while we wait?
Don’t allow uncertainty to isolate you from one another. Choose conversation over silence. Curiosity over blame. Partnership over panic.
Where have we already seen God’s faithfulness?
Remembering yesterday’s provision strengthens today’s trust.
The Journey Matters as Much as the Destination
One of the beautiful truths about Abraham and Sarah’s story is that their marriage wasn’t defined by one moment. It was shaped through a lifetime of walking with God together.
Every detour.
Every delay.
Every unexpected turn.
Every closed door.
Each one became another opportunity to discover that God’s faithfulness wasn’t dependent upon circumstances unfolding according to their expectations. Perhaps that’s true for your marriage as well. Maybe the closed door you have been questioning isn’t the end of your story. Maybe it is simply the place where God is gently redirecting your steps.
You may not understand it today. You may not understand it next month. But one day, you may look back and realize that what felt like disappointment was actually divine direction. Because sometimes the answer to God’s promise isn’t a different destination. Sometimes it is simply a different route. And if you continue walking that road together, trusting Him one step at a time, you may discover what Abraham eventually did. The Lord was never absent behind the closed door. He was already preparing the next one.
A Final Thought
Maybe as you read this, you realized that you are standing in front of a closed door of your own.
Maybe it’s in your marriage. Your family. Your career. Your health. Or maybe it is simply a season where you’re asking, “God, what are You doing?”
If that’s where you are, don’t carry that weight alone. One of the greatest misconceptions I encounter is that asking for help is a sign of weak faith. I do not believe that at all. Sometimes one of the wisest and most courageous things we can do is invite someone to walk alongside us for a season.
God designed us for community. He never intended for us to navigate every disappointment, question, or transition by ourselves. Whether that’s a trusted pastor, a mature Christian friend, or a licensed Christian therapist, allowing someone to help you process what you are walking through is not weakness. It is wisdom.
As a Christian therapist, I don’t see therapy as replacing God. I see it as creating a space where people can slow down, process honestly, discover healthy patterns, and become more aware of how God is working in their lives.
If you find yourself struggling to make sense of a closed door, feeling overwhelmed by disappointment, or simply needing someone to walk with you, know that reaching out is not admitting defeat. It is taking a step toward healing.
Crossroads Professional Counseling is here for you through life’s journeys. Give us a call today 225-341-4147. There is hope!
