Speaking the Truth in Love: What it Isn’t Have you ever agonized over something you needed to say to someone but couldn’t figure out how to do it? Maybe you thought about it obsessively, and the more it festered the angrier you got. Maybe you practiced all the ways you were … [Read more...] about Speaking the Truth in Love
conflict resolution
Healthy Discernment
Almost everyone who comes through my office hears me say “A belief is just a belief, a thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion. Just because I believe something does not make it true. Just because I think something does not make it true. Just because I feel … [Read more...] about Healthy Discernment
Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
The Pattern: Argument Amnesia Ask yourself this question: How often do my spouse and I argue about something, and then the next day I can’t remember what triggered the argument? I certainly remember the tension and the anger or distance I felt, but I … [Read more...] about Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
Fighting Fair – Overcoming Conflict in Your Marriage
Not all is fair in love and war. It’s hard to believe when we get married that one day we might look at our spouse and see them as the enemy. But over time, and especially during conflict, it can happen. We pick up our weapons, draw battle lines, and dare the other to … [Read more...] about Fighting Fair – Overcoming Conflict in Your Marriage
Seeking Peace
Do you have a favorite time of day? It may be right when dawn breaks, when the sun is going down, or midnight for those of you who are night owls. Mine happens to be the early afternoon, right after lunch. That may seem strange, but there is something about the quiet and … [Read more...] about Seeking Peace
3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
The Goal: I want to win! Last week, my wife and I had a huge fight. Emotions were high. We both were angry with each other. I felt unappreciated and she felt unloved. I didn’t care how she felt because I felt justified in how I was treating her. I’m not quite sure what she … [Read more...] about 3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
