Some mornings I wake up and everything feels like it’s on the verge of total collapse.
I have thoughts like, “is my MODAD system going to back up into my house today?” “Is everyone I love going to drop dead for no good reason?” Or maybe just some random unforeseen disaster will effectively make me bankrupt by lunch.
Is it just me?
Is it the pandemic?
Is it seasonal affective disorder?
Leftover trauma from the flood?
Who knows?! Maybe!
But I think it’s just how my brain works.
Once I brush my teeth, make my bed and pour my coffee, things usually start to feel much less dyer. Not always. But usually.
Even on the mornings when the sun comes out and I remember how funny I am, the normal grind of the hours until bedtime can feel so boring and monotonous. So “Bleh.” (If this has you wondering why anyone would ever pay good money to come see me for mental health therapy, keep reading! 😆😉)
The Difference of 15 Seconds
Neuroscientist Rick Hanson states that our brains are like Velcro for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive ones. Negative thoughts imprint immediately and positive ones take 15 seconds to imprint. (Buddha’s Brain) Did you catch that?! That’s what we in the mental health field call “a total bummer.” (You can read more about the negativity bias here.)
We have to mean to savor positive things, or else their potential impact just slips through the cracks. But those negative thoughts impact our brain right away. Thanks for nothing, brain! In order to combat our neurological bent towards negativity, we must take time to dwell on positivity. 15 seconds, to be exact.
- When your kid tells that funny joke? 15 seconds of thinking about it.
- When you have that amazing first bite of a perfectly cooked steak? 15 seconds of thinking about it.
- When you get positive feedback from your boss? 15 seconds of thinking about it.
- When you love the way your favorite human looks in his/her outfit? 15 seconds of thinking about it.
When we slow down and savor these moments of accomplishment or enjoyment, our brain is building in more neurological wiring to the emotion of happiness. So slow down and savor in order to hold on to the good stuff and let it impact your mood.
The Difference of 10%
Recently I read a book on mindfulness entitled 10% Happier by Dan Harris. Since reading the book, it’s the title that has been rolling around in my brain just as much as the content of the book itself. I’ve been turning over the idea of how I could get my daily monotony to be just a little more enjoyable. Nothing crazy like 100% happy. Just the low, achievable bar of 10% happier.
Plan an Influx of Small Joys
Following these ideas of Rick Hanson and Dan Harris, I’ve been pondering how I can make every experience I regularly have *just a little bit* more fun. What do I mean? I mean: if I regularly do it, I might as well get the most joy out of it as possible. Over time, savoring these small moments of joy will impact my mood in a positive way.
Here are a few things that have made a joyful difference for me lately:
- Ember Coffee Cup. My husband got me this for Christmas. I’ve been telling everyone about it. First sip of coffee? 140 degrees. Last sip of coffee? 140 degrees. You’re welcome, guys.
- Laundry Room Reno. One weekend we got a wild hair to hang palm green wallpaper in our laundry room and paint the rest of it bright pink. It might have been a grief response to losing Betty White because it certainly feels like Golden Girls in there now. But do you know what laundry needs? More joy.
- Sheets I Love. We lay on our sheets ⅓ of our lives. Make the experience as awesome as possible. No one has ever frowned when slipping into cool, crisp sheets.
- Awesome Playlists. You know what carpool needs? An awesome carpool playlist. (I just made this one and have a few other therapeutic playlists on Spotify that you might like.) Pump those kids up and give the teachers something to dance to! They get tired of doing the same thing, too.
- Morning Scratchies. My dog needs several minutes of morning scratchies. He “army crawls” to me in our bed, and our son often joins us. We pump up the dog by telling him awesome things about himself and you can’t convince me it’s not good for us all.
So this is what I’ve done to pump more joy into my doldrums. 1) Savor the good stuff for 15 seconds. 2) Seek out ways to make monotony just a little more enjoyable.
For more ideas on how to pump some positivity into your life, check out this awesome book with the best title: Feel Better Fast and Make It Last, by Daniel Amen.
For more of my thoughts on the power of joy, check out this post of mine.
