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Deciding to Go to Therapy Is a Big Deal
Whether or not to go to counseling is often a really hard decision to make. Even as a mental health therapist who has been in the field for a while, it’s not lost on me that some social stigma still lingers around seeking therapeutic help. And let’s be honest: at the heart of many of us, especially Americans, is that old “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality that can feel totally counter to the therapy process.
The clients I meet with have already done the hard internal work of deciding to reach out for support. But even so, I still hear a lot of hesitation, fear, and well-worn objections — and I get it. So, let’s talk through some of the most common reasons people wrestle with the idea of going to counseling.
1. “Are you sure I really need it?”
Ok. Maybe. Maybe you don’t reeeeeally need it. Maybe therapy would just be helpful to you. Is that enough?
Also… who even decides who reeeeeeally needs it? How bad off does someone have to get before they “qualify” for support? Let’s not wait until everything falls apart. Prevention is the best cure.
2. “I can just deal with it on my own.”
Here’s the deal: you don’t get a medal for not asking for help. What you get is a longer, slower journey that could’ve been dealt with months (or years) ago, but you decided to tough it out solo.
Can you deal with it on your own? Maybe. But why should you have to?
3. “I’m not really the therapy type.”
Do I have some fun news for you!
Me neither!
It’s pretty much my goal to not make you feel weird and oogy in my office. I solemnly swear to not stare at you with trumped-up compassion and make weird therapist noises! But I do promise to be a normal person…and I’ll probably make a joke or two.
A lot of my clients are people who “aren’t really the therapy type.” If you’re one who’d say, “I don’t know what I’d talk about,” or even, “I don’t like talking,” you’d be surprised at what all you’d have to say when you’re not interrupted and criticized.
While I can make no guarantees, if there’s anyone you might not hate talking to in therapy, it’s probably me.
4. “It’s in the past. What’s the point of dragging it back up?”
This one is tricky because it sounds rational. But it often falls into the category of minimizing your painful experiences and expecting yourself to be a superhuman who shouldn’t still be affected by life’s hard things.
I always say: negative emotions will find their way to the surface one way or another. If you let them choose how they come out, trust that it’ll be in the least convenient way possible. Whatever you’re ignoring, minimizing, or stuffing will come out sideways, and you’ll be in a never-ending game of whack-a-mole.
You’re better off bringing your stuff into the light and dealing with it head-on, processing and healing as needed, rather than stuffing it down deep and hoping it behaves.
5. “I have God / Prayer / The Bible / My Church / Etc.”
You do have those things. You totally do. And thank God for them! Where would we be without them?
But counseling doesn’t diminish your ability to utilize those gifts.
Think about it this way: we’ve all sat through sermons that were… well… less than awesome. Someone was just pinch-hitting for your regular pastor, and you left thinking, “Can’t wait for Pastor So-and-So to be back!” Because your pastor is uniquely gifted and equipped by God for that role.
The same is true for counselors. As a Christian, I believe I’ve been called and equipped for this work. It’s my gift to give back to the Body — and to anyone else who wants to benefit from it. My goal is always to magnify whatever strengths you come to the session with, be it your robust spiritual life, community group support team, or whatever the case may be.
You’re not calling your dentist about your plumbing issue. It just makes sense to go to the right person for the specific support you need.
6. “I went to therapy before, and it wasn’t helpful.”
This may legitimately be the case. And if so, I’m really sorry.
Not every therapist is a fit for every person. There’s somebody for everyone — and maybe you just haven’t found your therapeutic “somebody” yet.
I can’t guarantee that it’s me. But if we meet and you don’t think I’m the right fit, I’ll gladly help you find someone who might be. (Also, I wrote another blog post about how to pick the right therapist — check that one out next.)
7. “I wouldn’t want anyone to find out.” / “My family is against counseling.”
These comments tug at my heart because they’re laced with shame. And shame is a liar.
Let’s sift this out together. It’s okay to be human. Be the first in your family to take a healing step — and watch how that kind of bravery ripples outward.
8. “Things aren’t that bad, are they?”
(This is usually spoken by a spouse who’s not thrilled about attending marriage therapy.) Sometimes they don’t want to be “found out.” Other times, they just don’t want to hear how they’re “failing” the marriage, are afraid of the blame game, or are afraid of being ganged up against.
But here’s what I’ve seen time and time again: these kinds of statements are usually rooted in fear. Fear of being vulnerable. Fear of being known. And wow, do I know a thing or three about fear! I know it can keep you rooted to the spot that’s no longer serving you.
Don’t let fear hold you back. Call fear a chump and take that step! There are better days ahead than any you’ve left behind.
9. “I’d go to therapy, but it’s my [wife/husband/boss/mom/teen] who really needs it.”
That might be true. It’s definitely true that you can’t change anyone but yourself. But if someone else’s behavior is weighing on you, that alone is reason enough to come in.
Sometimes, the work begins with you getting clear on your boundaries, needs, and role in the relationship. You can be a “therapeutic bridge” — even if the other party never joins.
We all have people we wish we could hogtie and leave on a therapist’s doorstep like a big, dysfunctional present. But short of that, the work starts with you.
Still Not Sure? Let’s Talk About It!
If you already know you want to go to counseling but something is still holding you back, maybe we can work through that. No pressure. No shame. Or you can browse our extensive bank of blogs with a convenient keyword search feature. There’s a good chance that what you’re dealing with has already been discussed here!
Christian Counseling in Baton Rouge
At Crossroads Professional Counseling, we specialize in Christian counseling in Baton Rouge for individuals, couples, and families. (We also offer Telehealth for Louisiana residents, if that’s more your speed!) Whether you’re looking for a faith-based therapist who understands your values or a Baton Rouge counselor who can help you navigate anxiety, relationships, or past trauma, we’re here to walk with you. Our approach is rooted in empathy, clinical excellence, and a deep respect for your story.
