Speaking the Truth in Love: What it Isn’t Have you ever agonized over something you needed to say to someone but couldn’t figure out how to do it? Maybe you thought about it obsessively, and the more it festered the angrier you got. Maybe you practiced all the ways you were … [Read more...] about Speaking the Truth in Love
conflict resolution
Helping Your Spouse Open Up Again
I’ve had the honor of working with many couples over the past several years, and although the stories are unique, the issues usually aren’t. Typically there’s a breach of trust that makes loving and respecting each other difficult, if not impossible. The breach may be obvious … [Read more...] about Helping Your Spouse Open Up Again
How to Define Trauma
In recent years, the concept of trauma has become normative in our daily vernacular. What I mean by that is culture is talking about trauma in ways that we have never seen before. In so many ways, this is progress! But like so many concepts, there is a spectrum of … [Read more...] about How to Define Trauma
Healthy Discernment
Almost everyone who comes through my office hears me say “A belief is just a belief, a thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion. Just because I believe something does not make it true. Just because I think something does not make it true. Just because I feel … [Read more...] about Healthy Discernment
Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
The Pattern: Argument Amnesia Ask yourself this question: How often do my spouse and I argue about something, and then the next day I can’t remember what triggered the argument? I certainly remember the tension and the anger or distance I felt, but I … [Read more...] about Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
Taking Initiative
Have you ever known a person who had a terrible thing happen to them and they handled it in stride? It can be the hurricane destroyed their house, and although hundreds of homes were severely damaged, this person went about their business taking care of what they needed to, … [Read more...] about Taking Initiative