In recent years, the concept of trauma has become normative in our daily vernacular. What I mean by that is culture is talking about trauma in ways that we have never seen before. In so many ways, this is progress! But like so many concepts, there is a spectrum of … [Read more...] about How to Define Trauma
conflict resolution
Healthy Discernment
Almost everyone who comes through my office hears me say “A belief is just a belief, a thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion. Just because I believe something does not make it true. Just because I think something does not make it true. Just because I feel … [Read more...] about Healthy Discernment
Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
The Pattern: Argument Amnesia Ask yourself this question: How often do my spouse and I argue about something, and then the next day I can’t remember what triggered the argument? I certainly remember the tension and the anger or distance I felt, but I … [Read more...] about Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
Taking Initiative
Have you ever known a person who had a terrible thing happen to them and they handled it in stride? It can be the hurricane destroyed their house, and although hundreds of homes were severely damaged, this person went about their business taking care of what they needed to, … [Read more...] about Taking Initiative
Look At Your Pain
“Turn and look at your pain.” I looked back at her with frustration. I don’t want the pain. “You have to acknowledge your pain. Sit in it for a while. Experience the pain. Before you can truly move forward in healing,” she said. If you’re like me, as soon as negative … [Read more...] about Look At Your Pain
3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
The Goal: I want to win! Last week, my wife and I had a huge fight. Emotions were high. We both were angry with each other. I felt unappreciated and she felt unloved. I didn’t care how she felt because I felt justified in how I was treating her. I’m not quite sure what she … [Read more...] about 3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
