The Pattern: Argument Amnesia Ask yourself this question: How often do my spouse and I argue about something, and then the next day I can’t remember what triggered the argument? I certainly remember the tension and the anger or distance I felt, but I … [Read more...] about Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
conflict resolution
Taking Initiative
Have you ever known a person who had a terrible thing happen to them and they handled it in stride? It can be the hurricane destroyed their house, and although hundreds of homes were severely damaged, this person went about their business taking care of what they needed to, … [Read more...] about Taking Initiative
Look At Your Pain
“Turn and look at your pain.” I looked back at her with frustration. I don’t want the pain. “You have to acknowledge your pain. Sit in it for a while. Experience the pain. Before you can truly move forward in healing,” she said. If you’re like me, as soon as negative … [Read more...] about Look At Your Pain
The Seven Most Dangerous Words a Wife Can Ask Her Husband
The Now Infamous French Doors About three years ago, my wife and I had an argument that neither of us understood. It did not last long, but it was intense, and we both learned significant lessons by what we did wrong. Because I am an engineer by education and first career, … [Read more...] about The Seven Most Dangerous Words a Wife Can Ask Her Husband
3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
The Goal: I want to win! Last week, my wife and I had a huge fight. Emotions were high. We both were angry with each other. I felt unappreciated and she felt unloved. I didn’t care how she felt because I felt justified in how I was treating her. I’m not quite sure what she … [Read more...] about 3 Reasons Small Disagreements “Blow up”
Understanding Our Emotions
Typically, people come to therapy because of emotional pain — either theirs or those in their inner circle. Sometimes because of trauma, people are so shut down and so far-removed from their emotions that it is difficult for them to even describe what they are feeling. What do … [Read more...] about Understanding Our Emotions
