It’s late and I should be in bed. Asleep. Well, it is late for me anyway.
Have you ever had one of those days where you don’t want it to end.
Just a feeling. One of anticipation, expectation.
As a counselor I talk with people a lot. About life, love, loss. To me, it all circles back around to faith.
So, we talk about God. Our thoughts. Our heart.
Sometimes these faith talks resemble a discussion regarding a family member who is away from home.
My daughter just spent her first semester at college and I would talk about her in the same way. I know her on a deep, relational level. I feel close to her. I talk about her when she is away ….sharing my love….describing the way she has stepped out and embraced the adventure that is the life in front of her…..as I talk it is like she is far away although close by in my heart and mind.
Discussing God and faith today felt the same way. I know He is there. A part of all I know of love and grace. I speak about Him as a close relationship, someone I live for.
Today my daughter is home from school. She is here again. And the distance created by my vocabulary, accidentally stumbled upon when she is gone, has vanished. It is the here and the now, and she is in my days, and on my phone, and part of my life.
Today the vocabulary was present again in my conversations about God. He is close in my heart and my thoughts and my love. But I didn’t feel Him today.
So I wait….with anticipation, expectation…
Past my bedtime. Wanting to stay awake…..
‘til my daughter get’s home tonight. To hear her car door slam and the cacophony of barking, as our dogs’ greeting, breaks through the silent night.
And I know all is right.
And I wait…for that moment, when He is here…in my here and now. My last thought.
And I know, all is right…
and peaceful sleep steals the day.