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Crossroads Professional Counseling

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Coming Along Side

April 6, 2011 By Sue Miley

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We have many people we love.  Some we only like, but we still care about them and their life.

These same people that we love and we like say things that scare us.

They share their philosophies of life, latest decisions, and usually an attitude or two.

Some of these people we don’t agree with.  I know, a big surprise, but there may be a few.

So what do you do when you don’t agree with someone on various levels.

Missing the Point

I know that many of us well meaning Christians say that “I had to set them straight because it was the truth”!  And yes, the truth will set us free.

I believe that.

I also know that we all have the opportunity to have influence in these same people’s lives.

If we offend someone or undermine them they may, and usually do, revoke that influence.

It doesn’t do you any good to be completely right, love someone enough to want them to know the truth, and then to alienate them right out of your life.

Coming Along Side

Instead you may try coming along side them.

Coming along side a person doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say.  It simply means being there with them.  Listening.  Really trying to understand where they are coming from and why they feel or think the way that they do.

When we come along side of someone, they feel they have a partner and friend, not a teacher or judge.

They feel the love you have for them.  They see the genuine concern, not the debate dancing around in your eyes.

When we come along side of others our influence grows.  They feel truly understood and value our input.

Why?

Because they know you really love them, want the best for them, and yes, at times, care enough to shoot straight and let the truth set them free!

 

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Filed Under: Interpersonal Skills Tagged With: communication, relationship

About Sue Miley

Sue earned her undergraduate degree in Finance at Louisiana State University in 1986. In 1993 she completed her Masters in Business Administration with a focus on Marketing. In 2004, she earned a Masters in Education – Community Counseling.

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