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The Inevitability of Change

December 30, 2015 By Suzanne Jones

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Flying birdsGraduations, moving away, starting college, weddings, and births-certain events catapult us into change, ready or not. There are few things we can count on in life, but change is one of them.  Nothing stays the same. There are endless songs written about the poignancy of change which always involves saying goodbye to something or someone.

 An Uncertain Future

It’s hard to let go of the things that are comfortable and known. Our tendency to cling to the familiar is apparent in people who choose to stay in unhealthy relationships or circumstances rather than face an uncertain future. Sometimes we refuse to move on, clinging to the past because we are afraid of what’s up ahead. The problem is that unless we grieve and let go of what was, we aren’t open to embrace what the future holds for us.

A Change in Identity

A large part of why we often have trouble moving on is because our identity is wrapped up in the circumstances or relationships we are in. Moving on requires us to renegotiate our identity which takes a lot of courage and energy. Who am I now that I have an “empty nest”? Now that I am retired?  Now that I am a parent?  Now that I am married? Now that I am single?

Romanticizing the Past

Change or transition involves enduring a periods of uncertainty while we wait to embrace something new. Because change, even good change, is hard, we have a tendency to unrealistically romanticize the past. The story of the Israelites’ journey out of Egypt gives us a picture of the process.

Life was hard for the Israelites living as slaves in Egypt.  God, using Moses and the plagues, opened the door for change. Initially fleeing Egypt felt like progress, or at least relief! I imagine the Israelites were thrilled to start the journey. But a few weeks, months, years in the desert and they concluded it was all a mistake. They complained and pined away for the good things they had in Egypt. It was an anxious time for God’s people.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

That’s the way it often goes for the rest of us. Moving from what is familiar to what is unknown can be nerve-wracking. Sara Groves’ Painting Pictures of Egypt says it perfectly:

 I don’t want to leave here, I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me either way

And the places I long for the most are the places where I’ve been

They are calling out to me like a long lost friend

———
It’s not about losing faith, it’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable when you move so much

And the place I was wasn’t perfect but I had found a way to live

And it wasn’t milk or honey but then neither is this
——–

The past is so tangible I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy to discard

And I was dying for some freedom but now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the promise and the things I know

———-
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacks

‘Cause the future feels so hard and I wanna go back

But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned

And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned

———
If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

And if it comes too quick, I may not recognize it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

One Certain Thing

Change is inevitable. We can resist it or move forward as needed. The constancy of our faith can be a tremendous help during times of uncertainty. According to scripture, God doesn’t change.

 I am the LORD, and I do not change. Malachi 3:6

 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.

Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

As he promised the Hebrews when they left the familiar things of Egypt, headed toward an uncertain future, he promises to be with us on the journey.

__________________________________

Jones, Suzanne Headshot Image II 2013Suzanne Jones, BSN, MA, LPC, NCC

You may contact me at: [email protected]        (225) 278-3541

Or look for other articles and resources @ www.crossroadcounselor.com

 

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Filed Under: Anxiety/Depression, Christian Living Tagged With: anxiety, change, direction, faith

About Suzanne Jones

Suzanne is a board certified Family Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and a Licensed Professional Counselor. After working several years as a nurse, she decided to pursue counseling. She earned her MA in counseling from Louisiana State University. After counseling for ten years, she earned her MS in Nursing from the University of South Alabama, to augment her practice. Her combination of credentials underscores her belief that medications may be necessary at times, but, the real work of change happens in therapy. Her training and personal philosophy are holistic, considering the emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and even academic/career concerns of her clients.

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