Rediscovering Joy

I don’t know about your house, but over the past few years, my husband and I have been on the receiving end of some hard circumstances. The word “heaviness” comes to mind. 

None of it has been beyond the scope of what most people experience, but at times, it has seemed to be one thing after another. You’re reading this and thinking, “Totally…me too.” or even “Allison, You have No Idea.”  I know you understand where I’m coming from because we all go through seasons like this. (And for some of us, the seasons stretch longer than a Louisiana summer.)

When the hits just keep on coming, how do you discover joy again? 

Tenacious Joy.

One thing to know about me is that I am incredibly tenacious. This is a nice way of saying “stubborn as hell.” But when it comes to discovering joy and climbing out of tough circumstances, the trait of tenacity comes in clutch.

How does tenacity help restore joy? They’re inextricably linked. When I hold on despite all evidence to the contrary to the truth that nothing hard in life is wasted, I am beating back dread and cutting a path back to hope and joy in my life.

Check out 2 Corinthians 4:17 and Romans 5:3-5 just to cite a few of Paul’s writings on the topic. 

God does not waste hard things. He might not have planned the hard thing, but once it’s here, He won’t waste it to bring about good in our lives. I hope you know by now that just because I believe suffering isn’t wasted, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to grieve/mourn even small losses in your daily life.

With this tenacious hope in mind, how does one rediscover joy in tough times? 

Love. 

One of the perks of living in south Louisiana is that you’re only a few hours away from some really great beaches. And we are Beach People. The waves, the sand, the good vibes, the sun…we love it all! My husband loves being (literally) tossed around by big waves. It awakens a part of him like nothing else can. 

Along with the beach, I love eating at nice restaurants, hanging out with old friends, being on my “queenie” float in the pool, driving with the sunroof open, listening to great music, and vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic. 

• What are the things you love? 
• What are the things that you used to love but have forgotten about? 
• Make a list and do each thing! When we engage in things we love, it has a way of reigniting joy and blowing the cobwebs out of the deep parts of our souls.

Laugh.

Laughter requires two things: being present in the moment and a light heart. 

When you laugh, you are throwing heaviness aside, even if just for a moment. What makes you laugh the hardest? When you’re coming out of a hard season, it’s important to remind every part of you that you’re still ok: body, mind, and soul. What better way to communicate that to your depths than to laugh? 

Like Truvy from Steel Magnolias, laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. Deep laughter in the face of a tough situation is incredibly courageous and even revolutionary. Laughter decrees: we will not let the heaviness win!

Here are some recommendations of things that make me laugh every time:

• This YouTube video. Every time. Without fail.
• This book was so funny I very nearly had to cancel a counseling session because I couldn’t quit laughing.
• I quote this movie in session so often that I feel like I should get a royalty check for keeping it relevant.
• Playing the ha-ha game.

Play.

Playfulness between people who love each other is one of my favorite things about life. Play combines a lot of the activities listed above, but it’s important enough to get its own bullet. 

If you only knew how hard I play on a daily basis, you’d probably quit taking me seriously! If I love you, I pick at you. I’ll make you my unwitting partner in the game I just made up. I might jump out and scare you, break into a theatrical song, or hide your keys when you’re in a hurry to leave…the list only gets longer and more embarrassing from here. Ask anyone I’ve ever lived with…you better be on your A game if you’re around me much.

I love the spontaneity and movement that play requires. For me, play unlocks JOY, and I personally cannot sustain too many days in a row without play, fun, and joy. In recreation, we re-create our souls and remind our holistic selves that we were made to balance the heavy with the light. 

Rest.

Rest is an overlooked and undervalued part of our culture. We were not made to work 24/7! To truly engage in rest, you have to believe that God is at work on your behalf, even when you’re not hustling. 

Recently, my family has incorporated a practice of Sabbath. We put our electronics away, have some friends over, and invite everyone to actually write down things that are weighing us down. We put the concerns in the Sabbath box (along with our electronics) so that we can pick them back up when Sabbath is over…if we want to. 

We share a great meal, laugh our butts off, play some games, listen to our favorite music, and generally do things that make our souls come alive. Being in nature is also really life-giving to our family, and we try to incorporate some time together outside when possible. 

We do all this to remind ourselves that we are more than what we produce. We are enough, and we have enough. 

Taking a break signals to our soul that God is in control and He is caring for us at all times. God knew that we would have to fight against our nature to “make more bricks” (like the Israelites in Egypt) and earn our worth. In rest, we are proclaiming in a revolutionary way: enough.

Like many things in the kingdom of heaven, this doesn’t seem like it should be true, but I’ve lived long enough to believe that God can do more with your six days of work and one day of rest than you could with seven days of work.

Nothing reignites joy like unplugging from the rat race and trusting that everything is going to be A-OK. 

Final Thoughts:

As a fruit of the Spirit, joy isn’t dictated by circumstance. Like all gifts, you’ve got to engage with it for it to become truly yours!

Life will always send us curveballs. Despite the heaviness. Despite the stressors. Despite what’s undone. Use your God-given tenacity to find joy again. 

Today, I hope you engage in JOY that makes your soul come alive! If you need a little extra help lifting the weight off and rediscovering joy in your life, contact us today for Christian counseling.