Sometimes there are points in our lives where we feel like there are gaps. As if there were a missing part to yourself. These gaps are not always about feeling sad or down. There can be empty spaces in yourself where you feel confused about what step to take next in life, imposter syndrome, having to make a hard decision, and so on.
If you have any of these gaps at some point in your life, you’re not alone. Out of the 7 billion people on Earth, at least one other person has felt similar to how you feel. I know these periods can be frustrating, confusing, and overwhelming so I am going to share some of the ways I fill the gaps in my life.
Family
Although it is tough sometimes to talk about how I am feeling, I know that my family is always there behind me. Whenever I feel confused or lost I try to make an effort to spend time with my family. Even if I can’t be with them physically I will still attempt to call, facetime, or text them. I won’t lie, I call my mother every day after work to hear her voice and talk with her. Knowing that I have my family to lean on, helps me to rebuild those gaps I may be feeling.
Friends
Friends can provide you with a different sense of security than your family does. Often, we feel like we can tell our friends more than we tell our family. This allows us to be able to air out all of our concerns, feelings, and thoughts without the fear of potentially disappointing them or feeling judged. I make an effort to hang out with friends at least once a week. Spending time with my friends reminds me that I am not alone and some people might be feeling the same way.
Work
Whenever I have to deal with a gap in myself, I indulge in my work. I know that even if I feel like a piece of me is missing, I can rely on the work I do to remind me who I am. Despite all of the bad, confusing, or strange situations I may be facing, I can be proud of the work I have accomplished. Doing this allows me the opportunity to think of what I have accomplished thus far, and what I could work toward in the future.
The Little Things
The final thing I do to fill the gaps is envelop myself in the things I truly enjoy doing. For example, I love sudoku puzzles and will spend a decent amount of time doing them. During this time, I can clear my mind and enjoy myself. Participating in things that you love does not mean it has to be something big. The little things matter too. So, if you enjoy meditating, puzzles, painting, cleaning, or going for a walk, then go for it!
I know that there are moments where it may feel like you will never be able to fill those gaps or find your whole self again. Despite those feelings, things can change depending on you and time. You need to put in the effort to want to fill the spaces and you have to give it time. Most things do not change overnight. If you are feeling confused, lost, or just need some guidance you can check out Crossroads Counseling.
