“You can’t talk yourself out of problems you behave yourself into.” Exactly. I read this quote out of Stephen Covey’s book, Seven Habits of Effective People where he describes his concept of an emotional bank account. It stood out to me because I have had to … [Read more...] about Broken Trust Is Not Easily Restored
The Pattern: Argument Amnesia Ask yourself this question: How often do my spouse and I argue about something, and then the next day I can’t remember what triggered the argument? I certainly remember the tension and the anger or distance I felt, but I … [Read more...] about Why Couples Do Not Recover from Arguments Well
“I have said I am sorry. How many times do I have to say it?” Does this sound familiar? And often either the husband or the wife is the “usual” one to come back and apologize for some infraction, argument, tone of voice, or conflict. And often the one who is … [Read more...] about Five Reasons Why Your Apologies Don’t Work (and Seven Ways to Make it Effective)
How It Began “Have you washed your hands?” I have probably heard my wife ask me this question at least 50 times a day during the last several weeks. Sometimes I had remembered, sometimes I had not. Sound familiar? During the first several … [Read more...] about Is Social Distancing Causing Marriage Distancing?
This past weekend me and my husband went to North Carolina for the wedding of our good friends. After a flight full of anxious travelers excessively wiping down their seats to make sure they don’t catch the Coronavirus and a 30 minute anxiety-filled drive up a mountain, we … [Read more...] about Climbing the Mountain of Marriage
A couple I’d been working with reached the end of our work together, and it was time for our closing “graduation” counseling session. As they walked out of my office afterwards, the wife turned to me and said, “I am so grateful that we have spent this time with you. I … [Read more...] about How to Prepare for the “Empty Nest” Years